Eric Hovde is a deeply patriotic Republican who desperately loves the U.S., and he’s operating for Senate. How do we all know he loves the U.S.? As a result of he’s a Californian operating in Wisconsin, which suggests he loves the U.S. at the very least twice as a lot you unwashed single-staters. And he often flies over an enormous chunk of America when he’s not counting his cash at his financial institution in Utah, so there’s that too.
He additionally likes to inform everybody how patriotic he’s. In truth, he’s outraged—outraged!—that anybody would dare disparage the Pledge of Allegiance, whose recitation has lengthy been a obligatory train for schoolchildren who don’t know what a republic is and dimly surprise why we should always give two shits about an invisible one.
However Hovde, who’s operating as a member of a celebration that pledges allegiance to an (alleged!) documents-stealing wad of id, is indignant that anybody would ever sully these sacred stanzas, which so far as his MAGA-fried supporters know got here down from Mount Sinai within the glove compartment of Moses’ Escalade.
Simply have a look at how insistent he’s that pledging fealty to the flag is the one technique to honor that sacred image and the values it represents. (This two-pack tweet contains a shot and a chaser, and a transcript of each movies is offered beneath.)
Shot:
We mentioned the Pledge of Allegiance tonight. My spouse is aware of a instructor in Madison who taught elementary college. She would have the children do the Pledge of Allegiance. You already know what she was informed by college administration? ‘You’ll be able to’t. And if you happen to do it you may be punished. All you’re doing is indoctrinating younger Nazis.’ Consider that thought course of. That is the nation that fought a World Battle, sacrificed our younger to save lots of Europe to beat the Nazis. They haven’t any idea of what they’re speaking about, so that they have eroded the patriotism in our nation. That’s the very first thing they’ve carried out.
Chaser (from a separate occasion at a Wisconsin racetrack):
We’re all so blessed to be a part of the best nation within the historical past of mankind, America. America’s given extra prosperity, freedom to its folks than any nation within the historical past of the world. It not solely saved the world as soon as, however twice within the final century from oppression and tyranny. I’m proud to be an American. I like my nation, so let’s say the Pledge of Allegiance collectively.
I pledge allegiance to the flag of america of America, and to the republic for which it stands, indivi … undiv … indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
After all, if you will discover anybody over the age of, say, 80 who cares whether or not youngsters at school recite the Pledge of Allegiance, you’re an ace detective. Which is why Hovde’s two-pronged election technique of publicly butchering the Pledge whereas saying that individuals in nursing houses shouldn’t be allowed to vote is so extremely canny.
In keeping with latest reviews, Sunwest Financial institution, the place Hovde serves as CEO, has been named as a co-defendant in a lawsuit alleging elder abuse on the a part of a senior dwelling facility that’s partly owned by the financial institution.
And, sure, it hardly appears honest to tar a candidate over the actions of an organization his financial institution foreclosed on. Or it could, anyway, if he hadn’t, as The New York Instances wrote, “boasted not too long ago of getting gained experience within the nursing house trade as a lender to such residences.”
However that’s truly a little bit of a MacGuffin meant to arrange the cash quote.
You see, as a result of it’s apparently not possible to run as a Republican today with out pretending Trump had some extent in regards to the 2020 election, Hovde not too long ago claimed there have been “irregularities” within the vote (psst, there at all times are, however they’re hardly ever important sufficient to matter).
Then Hovde instructed eligible voters must be prevented from voting due to all of that dishonest he’s positive is occurring.
“Effectively, if you happen to’re in a nursing house, you solely have 5, six months life expectancy,” mentioned Hovde. “Nearly no person in a nursing house is at some extent to vote, and also you had … grownup kids exhibiting up and saying, ‘Who voted for my 85- or 90-year-old father or mom?’”
Received that? In the event you’re in a nursing house, your mind is mush. Possibly it’s not fairly mushy sufficient to trick you into voting for a Californian operating for Senate in Wisconsin, however it’s regarding nonetheless. However by no means thoughts that. Hovde loves the Pledge of Allegiance, identical to the three aged males in Hayward who truly nonetheless give a shit about it. Hope he hasn’t misplaced their vote!
Then once more, he might be able to coax them again into his camp by additionally forgetting the phrases to The Star-Spangled Banner, just like the über-patriotic Trump. In spite of everything, he has to do one thing to distract Wisconsinites from the truth that he owns a $7 million house in Inexperienced Bay Laguna Seaside, California: